Back in the mists of time in my 20s, I used to review the European newspapers for Sky News. Le Penn in Cannes, Spanish bullfighting news, that sort of thing. I was flicking through the Metro newspaper on the Tube this morning and thought I’d check out the state of mainstream sexuality. Here is my report:
There is a new book out called Becoming (good title) by Laura Jane Williams published by Hodder and Stoughton. The trajectory: a) a young woman shags her way around her gap year to try and find herself after being chucked. b) The men are all selfish men and she gets depressed. c) She becomes celibate in a convent in Italy, seeking forgiveness from Italian nuns. Laura Jane, honey, can I just say: nuns aren’t going to do anything for your self-esteem. I spent 13 years with them at a school in Cornwall. A little healing solo sex is what this doctor would order.
At the Glamour Woman of the Year party last night, Ab Fab’s Jennifer Saunders and Dawn French got very drunk and said, “Cunt,” a lot in their speeches. Susan Sarandon was soon joining in. In Metro, “Cunt” is spelled “C***.”
-Bobby Brown claimed he was “mounted by a ghost” in Georgia. Bobby, are you sure this wasn’t Whitney, scrabbling around the room for the last snifter of coke? RIP Whitney, we love you. Maybe it was a succubus, a female demon in human form. Lucky Bobby.
This is apparently, “Rabbit Awareness Week.” Metro illustrated this story with a picture of Cara Delevingne and a stand first saying no, not the Rabbit vibrator sort of Rabbit.
And there you have it. That’s the sexuality news that London sees fit to print. Remember kids, pleasure is political.