The day started well today. I sold this:
To be able to afford this:
Well, I’m assuming that this weekend’s “L-Fest” £125 lesbian jamboree in Uttoxeter, Stafford will be like this. I got this pic from the internet and it was actually taken in Ohio as part of some outward bound event called the “Dirty Girl Mud Run.” Classic. Gayboys get to go to Mykonos for their holidays and we get to go to a muddy field in Birmingham.
The shoes were from my Harper’s Bazaar days – when you could get a pair Christian Louboutin heels for £50 at a sample sale. I’ve never sold on eBay before and I think this is the sexy shot that persuaded someone called Carmen from Suffolk to buy them for £125.00. When it comes to selling Louboutins on EBay this is the real money shot:
As you see, mine are pure as the driven snow, where as these ones have been around the block.
It’s a bit of a metaphor about sexuality, if you think about it. Except it works the opposite to the way it works for Louboutin shoes. If you have lots of sex in a properly thought out way, you’re going to look great, like you just got yourself a new Christian Louboutin red bottom.
I’ll let you know how the lesbian mud party goes this weekend. There’s a thing on the programme called the Cunning Linguist spoken word stage and a workshop called, “the Art of Talking Dirty.” The latter is given by someone called Immani Love and here is her blurb: “Not for the virgin ears but definitely for the arousal of loins and moistening of panties, Immani Love delves into the world of sexuality with a no holds barred sense of fantasy and reality.”
Yuk. Maybe I shouldn’t have sold the shoes after all.
The other festival of note this weekend is Yoni Fest in Wales. http://www.yonifestival.com
Sounds like it might be one for Jennifer Anniston.
The creators describe it on their web site as a “weekend of workshops lead by women whose united vision is healing the wounds of woman, and reawakening feminine consciousness.”
Which is all very well, only you wish the spiritual lot would hire some copy editors from time to time so this spiritual stuff sounds less like the ingredients on a packet of home-knitted organic gluten–free pasta. And why can’t they call it “Cunt Fest”?
Anniston, meanwhile, as you will recall, recently came out about how pissed off she was that women are only valued for what they look like in our society. “I’m fed up with the sport-like scrutiny and body shaming that occurs daily under the guise of “journalism.” I feel for you Jen, but we’re all skint now as everyone expects to read everything for free so these are desperate times.
Maybe we should make her go to Yoni Fest to see how much of a real sister she really is. They are offering “menstrual medicine workshops” and also goddess card readings. The weekend promises to take women back “into a space of willing vulnerability and inner truth, and backward into a time when women were praised, honoured.”
NB Yoni Fest organisers, as a skint journo I will copywrite your next festival pamphlet for a sum. It might help attract some more punters. When I spoke to my hippie hairdresser friend about Yoni Fest, she said that a lot of her straight female friends were refusing to sell their shoes on eBay because, “I’m not going if there are no blokes there.”