Just when I was moaning that the trans brigade had hogged all the headlines and the best clubs, along comes Butch, Please, a night for women who appreciate female masculinity. And what a great night at the RVT it was. The theme this month was “Dykes on Bikes.”
And at one point there were more dykes out of the club than in, as the head of the East Sussex Dykes on Bikes chapter said that anyone was welcome to come and take pics as a pillion passenger.
Here I am on the back of the bike of the leader of the pack.
Can’t remember her name but she ordered me in a butch voice to “grab on to my handle bars,” and she didn’t mean the metal kind of handle bars.
Soon, everyone wanted some of the warm, bouncy handlebar action . I think the Dyke on the Bike leader was a bit bamboozled by the look of her.
When we went back inside it was time for the “hanky code” demonstration on stage. People think this is just a gayboy thing but dykes used to do it too. We were told that a handkerchief in the left back pocket means you’re a top and in the right hand pocket you’re a bottom. Green means you’re a “daddy’ looking for a “boy,” but apparently it depends what shade of green it is. Another shade of green means that you are a hustler looking for a John. Blue is “anal” and orange is “versatile.” My hanky expert in San Francisco, Shawn, will be able to corroborate all of this. The demonstrator woman said it’s a shame people don’t get back into hankies today as it’s much more flirtatious and round-the houses than something like Grindr or Tinder.
Next up was a butch singer whose best song had “I love your love handles, baby” as the chorus. And then a very cute drag king came on called Manly Stanley whose finale was pulling a piece of steak out of his y-fronts.
It was a fab night. Apparently kd lang has contacted the creator of the night, Tabs, to say she wished she was there. It could have been 1992 and Dykes To Watch Out For might still be a cartoon strip being sold in Silver Moon bookshop in Charing Cross Road before Alison Bechdel became a superstar with Fun Home on Broadway.
The evening ended with my musician friend Linster Sangster
playing my favourite record of the moment, “I believe in Miracles” by the Jackson Sisters for me. I know, not very butch, but we were beyond caring at that point.